


stumble (Illumi x Reader)

by mayoyayo



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Cute, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Reader-Insert, Romance, Self-Insert, Short & Sweet, he has a heart too, i have illumi brainrot, illumi deserves some love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:48:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28613094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayoyayo/pseuds/mayoyayo
Summary: Illumi wasn't normally the type to go through the trouble of fraternising with his targets before he dealt the blow. Sure, the occasional odd case has piqued his attention, but being in this field for years has eroded a lot of his curiosity, and whatever interest he had in the personal affairs of others was quickly forgotten after business was dealt with. Work is work, he tells himself, which is exactly why he found himself unable to justify his sudden desire to interact with you.the title might change!!! <3
Relationships: Illumi Zoldyck/Reader
Comments: 9
Kudos: 45





	1. Meeting X and X Misgivings

**Author's Note:**

> awooga i have severe illumi brainrot... kinda got sick of all the interpretations of the sadistic side of his character so i decided to explore the more human side. hope you enjoy!

Dim lighting illuminated the sluggish pub, its usual customers absent from its modest confines. From an unremarkable corner of the room, Illumi watched with distracted interest at the figure sat at the bar table. Sipping absently at his own drink, he watched your exchange with the bartender as you received a drink of your own.

“That would be 30 Jenny,” the bartender announced as he slid across your order. You thanked him with a polite nod as you reached into your pockets. The uneasy feeling of being observed grew by the minute, and as you finished the exchange with the bartender, you looked suspiciously around the room to determine the cause of your discomfort.

Illumi wasn't normally the type to go through the trouble of fraternising with his targets before he dealt the blow. Sure, the occasional odd case does pique his attention, but being in this field for years has eroded a lot of his curiosity, and whatever interest he had in the personal affairs of others was quickly forgotten after business was dealt with. Work is work, he tells himself, which is exactly why he found himself unable to justify his sudden desire to interact with you. 

He admits that your case was out of the norm. Initially, he spent an uncharacteristically large amount of time wondering what such an unremarkable person such as yourself could have done to warrant such a heavy sum on your head. The anonymous commissioner had offered little information – only a blurry image and a first name, and Illumi admits that it had been a challenge to find you. You had a peculiar circumstance in that it was, to most people’s impressions, as if you had just materialised from thin air. You had no known family, no history, no notable achievements or connections, and the commissioner had even less information to provide. To the world, you didn't even exist until just a month ago. His curiosity was only intensified when he finally tracked you down in a small, sluggish town to the North of Yorknew City. He could tell that you were being deliberately cautious – perhaps you were on the run. You did have enemies after all.

Your weary eyes darted around the room, determined to pinpoint the watchful eyes you had felt ever since you entered this bar. You had chosen this exact location in order to be inconspicuous, but it seemed like it had backfired. In truth, you were a trained assassin under an influential lord in a small country to the South of the known world. However, what differentiates you from others in the business was that you were not for public hire – you had sworn servitude to the same master your entire life. Growing up, you had no need to establish a brand or identity, you had a stable existence living out your only goal. To the world, you might as well be Death itself – revealing yourself only for one reason and retreating when that purpose is fulfilled. Your bond with your master was not out of loyalty or respect, it was simply what it was. 

Illumi had no way of knowing this, but as he noticed the sudden shift in the air as you made eye contact with him, he immediately determined that you would be a potentially cumbersome target. His annoyance with the newfound hurdle was broken when you suddenly spoke out to him.

“Can I help you with anything?” came your question. Tilting his head and raising a finger to his temple, he found himself having to pause to think before responding.

“I will buy you another drink,” was what Illumi settled for, as he logically determined that feigning romantic interest would avoid the most suspicion. A pause followed, and under your gaze, he became oddly conscious of his gesturing, and lowered his hand with very subtle hints of apprehension. Ah, shit. _Was he nervous?_

Much to his relief, you didn’t question him any further. However, his guarded demeanour and very un-suave statement didn’t go unnoticed. You traced your fingers absent-mindedly over the rim of your glass. You took your time to observe, as you normally do. The man had long, almost delicate looking hair that framed a face that was as beautiful as it was handsome. It was impressive how well his clothes complimented his lean, built figure. However, you decided that the most remarkable thing about him were his eyes. It seemed to trap a certain heaviness within them, a darkness so dense that it could have its own gravity. He’s probably just socially awkward, you had thought at first, but there was definitely something odd, and potentially dangerous about this guy. Him appearing here in this particular bar, on this particular night, was no work of chance. 

Now regarding him with an air of reserved curiosity, you thought over his offer. You can acknowledge that you are easy on the eyes, and although you’ve remained quite impartial to your own appearance throughout your life, you are familiar with gazes of lustful interest. His gaze did in fact hold something similar to this, but it also had something foreign attached to it that you could not help but feel distrustful towards. Normally this would be a sign to retreat and disappear into the night again, but perhaps months of hiding in isolation had made you more daring than usual. You decided to entertain him. Plus, his reaction was pretty cute – his eyebrows had knitted together ever so slightly when you had first noticed him tucked away in his little corner, and only relaxed when you agreed to his proposal. He also had a habit of making a show of tilting his head and gesturing with his hands when he was thinking. What a strange guy. You thought about the firm reprimands you would receive from your Master if he could see you getting all curious about some stranger at a pub.

But that’s all in the past now! Which is why as you faced the mysterious man standing in front of you, you allowed yourself just the smallest amount of excitement at the idea of inciting more of those small reactions from him.

Illumi wasn’t one to fall victim to alcohol – resistance to substances was covered in the most basic training regimes. However, he does understand its benefits when given to others. Most humans, he notes, become way more susceptible to revealing their most well-guarded secrets when given the correct prompt under the influence, and luckily for Illumi, he was great with giving prompts. Unluckily for Illumi however, was that the target seated next to him was particularly hard to get drunk.

You two had sat in silent company for a short while now, and Illumi had blankly stared at a random, insignificant spot in front of him the entire time, only holding your gaze when offering another drink. Yeah, this guy is definitely weird. Pretty loaded too, you deduced, as he showed no signs of hesitation at spending hundreds of dollars on alcohol for a person he has no previous connection to. Still, you were talented at reading people. This guy might be an oddball, but that just makes him all the more interesting. 

“Are you trying to get me drunk so you can have your way with me?” You teased after he offered to buy you yet another drink after you’ve emptied your seventh cup. You had a pretty high alcohol tolerance, but you definitely weren’t invincible to it.

“Huh?” was his immediate reply. With the side of his face rested in his palm, the man blinked at you with a blank expression. When this was met with an awkward pause, he continued. “Have my way with you?” 

His voice was laced with the subtlest hints of concern. The way he actually had to deeply consider your question was quite cute. 

He turned away from your quizzical stare to clear his head. He had no idea what you had meant by your words, and it was worrying him a little. Very rarely in his life has he felt the uneasy feeling of being out of control, of being vulnerable. He's never conversed with his targets before — he has never felt the need to. They weren't much for conversation after the quiet needle in the head anyway. Your words both perplexed and unsettled him. Illumi was certain that nothing he had done so far was enough to reveal his murderous intent. As usual, he began to consider all the possibilities to this scenario.

Could you have a nen ability that allowed you to read minds? Perhaps he had accidentally revealed hints of his bloodlust, and you were observant enough to notice? Illumi came to the conclusion that at the end of the day, he just had to finish you off quickly and quietly, just as he has always done. 

Little does he know that his uncharacteristic anxieties were for naught, as you were slowly letting your guard down. In fact, you were preoccupied with observing the minute tensions in his face with fascination. As his face slowly darkened, you observed with equal intensity. This guy is kinda hot. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> illumi misinterpreting social situations as he always does.. i love this awkward man <3 
> 
> i hope you enjoyed ! sorry if my tenses got a bit mixed up, i'll go back and fix everything :-)
> 
> pls lmk what i can do to improve my writing -- i think i embellish it too much that it sacrifices some of the rhythm of the piece, so i'll work on that in the future! but pls let me know if u have any feedback. hope everyone is staying safe


	2. Unexpected X Guest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woaa im pretty proud of this chapter, the next few chapters will be juicier and longer :)
> 
> ajksdh a wild hisoka appears.. what will happen

Illumi had made a big mistake, he thought.

Why did he decide this was a good idea? It was ridiculous, sitting down at a bar drinking with the very person he was hired to kill. The thought was almost laughable.

“I was just teasing you, you know,” you said, still quite amused at how seriously the man had taken your taunt.

Sighing in response, Illumi sensed no ill-intent behind your words, but your teasing tone reminded him bitterly of a certain clown faced acquaintance. You smiled and turned away from him to ask for another drink from the man behind the counter. You sat quite comfortably in your chair, clearly at ease with the situation. Unbeknownst to you, the calmness in your body language was quite relaxing to Illumi, and the aching tension in his muscles undid themselves.

There was definitely more to him than meets the eye. You’ve lived your entire life dealing in the underground business, and it was pretty likely that this guy has too. Still, it was pretty rare to find anyone as socially clueless as him, and although you could imagine how unsettling he may be to others, his mannerisms were quite endearing to you. The smallest things you did said or did seemed to send him into an internal warzone – a warzone safely tucked away behind an unshakeable composure to the untrained eye, but you were getting better at reading him.

 _I should just kill her now._ Argued the more reasonable part of Illumi’s conscious, but a more convincing, less logical side urged him to find out more about the girl sitting next to him. What has she done? Why is the commissioner hiding behind an anonymous alias, and who are her enemies? It was obvious that she understood that he lived in a different world to the average citizen, so why is she so willing to let her guard down? Is it because she is confident that she will win in a fight against him? Who was she, really?

Illumi’s internal struggle was starting to make him feel uncomfortable. _I am definitely losing it._ He thought. The best solution was to deal with the cause of all this unnecessary stress – and that was you. The quicker he kills you, the faster it will be over. He quietly felt for the needles he kept in his trousers, a movement that did not go unnoticed by your watchful eye.

Fate had other plans.

“Illumi, what a coincidence!”

Recognising the patronising tone, he sighed. Letting go of his pins, he turned to face the pink-haired magician, who was standing near the entrance of the pub.

“Hisoka.” Illlumi addressed him, half a greeting and half a statement. Hisoka’s tall figure casted a shadow over the counter, and his grin carried a smug taunt – _“I told you”_ it seemed to say. For weeks now, Hisoka had passively observed Illumi's almost obsessive hunt for you. He's never seen Illumi dedicate so much of his energy into someone outside his family, and teased that he would fall in love with his target upon meeting her. Honestly, Hisoka didn't actually think he'd let you live -- it was Illumi after-all, so when he walked in to find you alive, and Illumi a helpless mess, it was all quite amusing to him. For Illumi, the situation was much less amusing. Hisoka might as well as have walked in on him naked.

“Replaced me with a new drinking buddy? How hurtful.”

“That’s not what this is,” came Illumi’s curt reply.

“Oh? Then a date then?” The sneer on Hisoka’s face annoyed Illumi to no end.

Illumi hesitated to respond when he felt you watching him. _Crap._ What would a normal person say in this situation? Does this actually constitute as a date? Thankfully, he didn’t have to think very hard because you made a move.

During the exchange between the two men, you were silently assessing the situation. You were a pretty cautious individual, and the situation up until now didn’t really give you any reason to suspect the man sat next to you. However, you were certain you saw him reach into his trousers just as the new company entered the pub. This to you, was alarming. The two looked like a pair – their outfits definitely matched. _I’ve seen this before in Pokemon. Matching crop tops definitely means they’re an evil duo._ This was enough to make you decide to run for it.

Your last thought before you zipped out the pub and into the street at breakneck speed was that the name Illumi was cute.

“Aren’t you going to chase after her?” Hisoka questioned, looking at the open door still swaying gently with the force you had opened it with.

“No thanks, I’ve lost the element of surprise. She would be ready to fight if I went after her now.”

“Rare to see you so unsure of yourself,” When he got no response, he continued with a smirk. “She must be pretty interesting.”

Illumi’s annoyance surfaced onto his features when he realised what Hisoka was thinking. “She’s my target. You’ll make an enemy of the entire Zoldyck family if you ridicule us by taking our jobs.”

How enticing, thought Hisoka. The entire Zoldyck family after his blood appealed to him more than he cared to entertain. However, killing you wasn’t a priority right now – it probably would just piss Illumi off, and Hisoka still needed Illumi on his side. Plus, judging from what he walked into a few minutes ago, you would be much more interesting to keep alive.

In truth, both of them knew that Hisoka finishing you off wouldn’t damage the Zoldyck reputation at all. It was just an unpolished excuse, because for reasons unknown to Illumi (but pretty damn obvious to Hisoka) Illumi did not enjoy the idea of Hisoka killing you.

Illumi can admit that between your company and Hisoka’s, he found that he much preferred yours. There was a mixture of a certain playfulness and wisdom behind the guarded attitude of your scrutiny. However, it doesn’t explain the sinking feeling he gets in his chest when he thinks of Hisoka standing over your lifeless body. Maybe he just hates Hisoka? Or maybe he wasn’t ready for you to die yet, not when he still hasn’t had the chance to ask you the questions he would really like the answers to.

Quite a few miles away from the sleepy town, rain was sprinkling down over small village. You headed towards an overhang and decided to spend the night there. Although the night was cold, the warmth from the alcohol warmed your chest, and your face felt flushed from the events that transpired that night. You were quite a while away from where the pub was, and had taken extra care to make your tracks random and confusing to throw off any potential pursuers from the bar. The rainy night also helped to conceal your presence. You were pretty sure those guys were sent out to kill you, probably by your own master or one of his enemies. It wasn’t easy leaving behind your old, messy life in order to pursue your own freedom. You had thought that you did a pretty good job, but it seems like you still had a few hurdles to overcome before you were truly free.

It came as a sort of shock, the day you decided to leave your old identity behind. You had grown up only understanding how to live for others, not for a cause out of your own inhibitions, or any sort of attachment or feelings of loyalty – but just because it was easier to hold onto a purpose that wasn’t designed by you, rather than be helplessly vulnerable pursuing a purpose that you had made for yourself. It just didn’t seem worth the effort, and you lacked the courage. Now, hanging up your damp jacket to dry from the rain, you thought your old self silly for having such fears. 

_Illumi._ He was the first person you had really sat down and talked to ever since leaving your old home behind. You could tell that he was holding himself back, as if a small part of him wanted something, but his conditioning refused to let him pursue it. The second guy that entered, Hisoka, was it? Was much more difficult for you to understand. The atmosphere had completely shifted the moment he presented himself, and you felt that he was hardly to be trusted.

As you tossed over the mixture of feelings and thoughts in your mind, you were blissfully unaware of a pair of watchful eyes observing you in the distance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u guys for reading and i hope u enjoyed!!


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